Audrey1

I remember Hydrogirl giving me some similar advice when I was pushed to my absolute limit with my ABF and had moved out. I had this undeniable urge to make a decision immediately. I had finally taken the step to leave him, and wanted the momentum to continue so I wouldn't get sucked back in. I felt I had wasted enough of my life and wanted to get on with it immediately. I imagine you are feeling the same way. My situation was compounded by the fact I live in his country which is very, very far from my country and any support system.

The advice to take a breather and stop putting pressure on yourself helped me immensely. I did so, and stayed where I was for a while away from him. Thankfully, my leaving him gave my partner the kick in pants he needed to get help. Although he does still smoke a little pot which means he is technically not sober, he hasn't had a drink in over two months. This is a massive, massive improvement. At times I felt too much had happened and that our relationship was broken beyond repair. I doubted the fact that I still loved him. It was a very confusing time.

I don't look to the universe for signs, and I don't think you should either. I believe anything we think is a sign can be read either way, like a horoscope. Look at what you want, and what your gut it telling you.... honestly. Only you know what to do. I have now returned to my partner and although the road has been a bit bumpy, I am glad I did as things have been a lot better and are generally improving as both of us work on ourselves. I do know that I would never have come back to him if he hadn't stopped drinking, so I feel secure in my decision now.

You won't fix him. That's up to him. What you need to do is work out if you are prepared to live with an alcoholic. It sounds from your post that he's not taking any serious steps to stop drinking, so that's all you can expect from him for now.