Without detachment we never get to feel our true feelings because we are too wrapped up in their feelings and their lives. The drama keeps us from facing our own reality. For me, his story is getting old but I still have attachment. This I feel is the normal part of any break up. The part where it just hurts. I do believe there is no way to avoid the pain of separation. The only way out is through and with recovery, we can acquire healthier coping skills. I am trying to rewire my brain to want "something healthier." He will only get in the way as he is not "something healthier" right now. In the meantime, I know I sacrificed the most precious things in my life to maintain my addiction to him and I refuse to give that power back to him- my identity, my safety, my soul, my sanity, and my life. I refuse to be a pawn in his addiction anymore just for a some temporary love and satisfaction. I know deep down I am worth more. So that is where I am searching- deep. Sorry for your pain. No need to turn it into continual suffering unless that is needed to learn.