I relate completely to your struggle. We are only human and sometimes our instincts override our awareness. That is what has kept me going back even when my gut was trying to tell me to stay away.
What keeps me from going back now is my recovery and nothing else. I know the facts. I know that he is not in recovery. I know that his words do not match his actions. I know that I keep getting hurt every time I come back to him.
Instead of clinging to hope that he will change, I am making changes. I do still have attachments to him and longing for him. But I think time will tell the truth. If I can give myself the time and space to heal without clouding the reality with more attachments then MAYBE I can not only see the light but actually move on.
I will take that MAYBE over more emotional abuse. Patience. Sometimes we are too forgiving and forgetting. I really have had to allow myself to be angry and to see what lies underneath all of that versus denying it. I am addicted to an unhealthy abusive man and it is going to take a lot of work to break the cycle.