I agree with all this also. The problem that I had after my ex hit me, was that the court did make him go to a batterer's program. ACT (Abuse ceases Today), in Morristown NJ. He had to go, I think it was once a week for 26 weeks. He got abusive to me during this period of time, and I called this program to tell them. They told me that they could listen to me, but they can't do anything about it, or question him about it. That he was covered by the Privacy Act.
So I really don't understand how these treatment programs work. I thought I read that in some other places, that the treatment center would actually called the abused while the abuser was at their place, to ask how the person was acting, and if the abuse had stopped. My ex also came back from his treatment program worse then when he went. I know this probably had to do with him dealing with realizing that things that he did was abusive.
He was also mandated to attend an alcohol program. He had to attend this 3 times a week for 6 weeks. So he got his days to be consecutive days. Mon - Wed. It was for 90 minutes each night. So then he only drank from Wednesday night to Saturday night. They did take a urine test each time he went.
None of these programs ever contacted me to see how he was acting outside of the program. I think this is something that needs some attention.
I guess what I am saying is that the courts can mandate people to these programs, but the problem that I see is that there is no accountability except for what the offender says.