prayers answered not always like we would think!
Praying, letting go and letting God has been at best, a long painstaking process, for me anyway! But with this choice I made to work on me, focus on me, letting it begin with me and asking for Gods will and the power to carry that out; the willingness on my part the meetings in a 12 step recovery program (al anon) I attend regularly and the listening, reading and sharing have allowed me to change, accept and find peace and serenity regardless if my loved one uses or not!
I am unable to verbally fully express the gratitude to my God of my understanding for bringing me to where I am today from where I was! All I had to do was be willing and do the work! The ability to pray and hope for my loved one to get sober does not mean what my mind thinks it will look like! In fact it means I step back and let go and God will do the rest and take care of my loved one the way God sees fit to!
The answers to my prayers come in ways that have brought about circumstances that I could not of "orcastrated" or planned out! His working with out my help! Lol and me being out of the way allows his will to unfold! In ways I would never think of!
My addicted loved one has been "exposed" to his family of enablers in a way that everyone has been forced to look at his addiction and their denial! And my loved one to face the destruction of his use and how it has affected his family and exposed his destructive path! God did this with out me doing a thing except praying and working on me and letting go!
My loved one has been given by God yet another "reality check" that he can't wiggle out of in a way that he has never had before! Its also opened the eyes of his family of enableers and given them a reality check too!
What happens now?! Only God knows! I will keep praying and keep takknb care of me and thanking God for what he is doing and detaching with love!
My post my be confusing to some who are just embarking upon a path or journey of their own recovery! But I pray and hope it gives you hope and inspiration to be diligent in your walk, journey to work on you and know that with this process you too can find peace and happiness and find yourself one day right where you want to be! Its so amazing to see how the growth and changes in yourself and the life you never thought could be possiable! That how the devestation of a addicted loved one can no longer grip your life and control your life! And God answers prayers! It is just so different than our minds can think and is better than we can ever think! He has got this he really does!