Originally Posted by
weirdesttoner 
I was 10 days sober, in the last 5 or 6 years of everynight drinking.
I relapsed on day 11 and one more day. i stayed sober for 1 day. then relapsed again for 2 days. Then again sober 2 days. And relapsed with continuous drinking until now, a week, i don't know.
Now it seems that i lost my desire for soberness. I feel desperate. I know my life is still miserable as it always was, but i feel i lost my willpower. I'm very well determined in the mornig, but after i get out of work, i can't help but thinking about relaxing with a beer in hand. And of course it's not just one beer....
I lost my desire to go to gym, to german classes(and i love german language), allmost everything but alcohol. Do i have to hit rockbottom again and embarrass myself in fron of a few people to get determined again??
What the hell is wrong with me? Because i know this is a ****** path...
Someone help me, please...
Well it looks like you are heading for the Deep Freeze of isolation (maybe the penquin av will accompany you) . He will be the only one though, it is this very solitary confinement of alcoholism that can break the spirit.
I also don't think you can "will determination" something will do it for you. Something in your life will mean more to you than sitting alone every night and drinking until you pass out---then starting all over the next day. I do not think you are allowing yourself to think past giving up--your just too tired.
Well get some sleep/ wake up/ and be a little more positive about the direction of your life.. Weight it
Sitting alone in the dark with you drink, passing out and no friends.........OR
Fighting for your sobriety with us here at SR and other heplful organizations for companionship and support--when your ready we will be here.
If you start today their is a 50% discount--Today ONLY!!!!!!!
