Originally Posted by
outonalimb 
(((Liz)))
It's a cycle.
When my exah sensed that I was pulling away, thinking about a life separate from his addiction, he turned on the charm. Addicts are master manipulators. And I wanted so badly for my marraige to work, that I fell for it. Only there was always this small little voice inside my head that said 'it's not real'.
He lied to you about his car device. What else has he lied to you about? Do you trust him? Are you willing to continue on in a relationship without trust? Your gut is telling you something...what is it? If you ignore it, you do so at your peril.
My exah and I tried joint counseling once. I remember the counselor called me out on my behavior. He said I was living a lie. And he was right. My exah lied to me. And I lied to myself. And I hurt myself alot int he process. And I hurt our son.
Your the only one who knows your situation well enough to know where the TRUTH lies. Just remember, there is a big difference between the TRUTH and the LIES we tell ourself so we can continue chasing a dream.
Keep the focus on YOU.
What do you want?
Where do you want to be in another 5 years?
You're the only one who can set your course.
I have to laugh here. He didn't lie about the device, he just never tells me anything so this way I can't accuse him of lying. It's his convenient way of controlling the situation. He told my son about the extra 6 months and my son told me after dad told him: Don't tell your mother. Our son also witnessed AH blasting a landscaper at our club and the guy claimed AH was being hostile. After that incident my AH says, "Don't tell your mother." My son tells me everything still, AH just doesn't get it.
I intend to keep working on myself. As I said earlier, I came on here to harden my resolve and to stay strong. Thanks so much for the encouragement.