If you only drink once a month then you surely won't notice it too much if you stop drinking.try not to think of forever,just stop now. If it makes you so ill it makes sense to stop. It'll get worse and worse if you carry on. Many people quit without AA,although if you feel you could get benefit from it then it's worth a try. If you can't just stop then this site is a great support,lots of good help and advice.