marchparker

I am 36 years old. I drink about once a month, socially with my husband and friends, and tend to have 3-5 drinks. I have a very high tolerance to alcohol; it takes a lot for me to even feel "buzzed". I really love that feeling, too. Sort of floating away, everything funny and romantic and pretty and meaningful. I used to be able to drink and barely feel hungover. Now, it's ER level hangovers for me.

In fact, what brings me to this forum is the fact that I was just in the ER Saturday morning after drinking champagne with my husband. We were doing our taxes (drinking champagne - it just sounded fun!) and one glass led to another... you know how easy champagne is to drink. 2 bottles were gone in about 4 hours. 2 hours after we went to bed, I started violently throwing up, having diarrhea, stomach cramps, heart palpitations/tachycardia, out of control panic feelings. I already suffer from very occasional debilitating panic attacks and have stomach issues.

I have a breathalizer (I got a DUI about 8 years ago, blew a .10; and never drank alcohol and drove again) and when I use it my BAC goes up and up, getting higher as I get more sober. I just can't process alcohol at all. The ER dr. confirmed that by saying that my BAC was .15 6 hours after my last drink, which he said would have put me at about a .30-.40 (death level) when I went to bed which is impossible because I was completely coherent. In fact, I was BARELY buzzed in the ER at all. He said I must have a very hard time metabolizing alcohol then and asked if I was Asian (because they tend to have a difficult time with alcohol). I am not. But most times when I drink it's like I've been taking Antibuse.

When I was younger I binge drank out of depression. I don't do that anymore, and haven't since the DUI. However, I have ruined many things due to the alcohol allergy/intolerance I have; not really by over-drinking, but from the illness it causes. Which is where the real bummer is for me. I don't know if 2 drinks will send me to the ER or 4 drinks will just simply give me a headache the next day. I've tried eating, drinking water, supplements, spacing out the drinks, drinking the same type of alcohol, etc. Unfortunately, even 1-2 drinks over the course of a whole night can give me a terrible racing heart and panic feelings and I usually can't sleep, sometimes vomiting. I wake up with crazy feelings of guilt even though all we did was hang out with friends.

I'm not ready for AA. In fact, while I respect and appreciate what it does for many, I don't think it is for me- #1 reason is that I'm an Atheist. It seems I do best when I make a plan for drinking, If I'm going to at all. Setting a limit on how many I can have (usually 3), and drinking a ton of water. I guess I'm afraid to go completely SOBER. That seems so drastic! But I know I can't do what I did the other night, which is just drink without a care. I realize I made a mistake there. Which is strange for me truly because usually I am very cautious. But I just can't afford another ER bill and/or feeling so damn sick. It seems like it takes days to recover because my health isn't 100% right now. I also wonder if there isn't something medically wrong with me as well. 1-2 drinks should not give you stomach cramps, vomiting, heart racing, etc. Most drs. just say "don't drink", but I would love to know what 's wrong with me.

To clarify, my husband will gently remind me of the drinks I've had and that's it. We sort of enable each other. He gets pretty ill too from drinking but nowhere near my level. He'd be supportive no matter what path I chose, and probably go that path too.

That's my story; at least most of it. Thank you for reading. Any comments would be welcomed.