There was no doubt in my mind when I was drinking that I was an alcoholic. I pretty much knew it from my 2nd week drinking. Because of that I never really gave much thought to referring to myself as one at meetings, and still do. There's lots of debate over whether we're recovered, or recovering. The Big Book often says recovered, so many people go with that. I heard that it says recovered because to the world outside AA, saying recovering sounds as though we still have a problem with drinking. Which we don't. The Big Book also makes it clear that our sobriety is contingient upon our growth, and that we are never "recovered". If we pick up a drink again, we'll find that the alcoholic in us is still very much alive.
Here on the SR forum many people outside of AA state that they will never drink again. Pretty sure they don't consider themselves recovering, though I can't speak for any of them. Myself, being in AA, if asked by someone who is also an alcoholic, consider myself recovering. Outside of AA it's not anyone's business and I'm not sure I've ever been asked if I was recovered, or recovering. If I was I'd probably say recovered. I am one of the believers that if I forget the fact that I'm an alcoholic, stop doing the things I do to remain healthy physically, mentally, and spiritually - that there is the possiblility of me picking up a drink again. I've seen it happen to thousands of people in my life. People with months, years and even decades of sobriety. What I've been doing has been working for almost 29 years for me, so I'm not about to change it.
Want to add that I understand your reasons for not wanting to say you're alcoholic, and I'm also a big Wayne Dyer fan. Read most of his books, and even went to see one of his lectures. I was a member of Codependents Anonymous many years ago, and at the start of the meeting they passed around a list of characteristics of codependents. There were loke 50 of these things, and people would pass the list around and read 3 each... and they were all in the "I". I accept sex for love, I have unclear boundaries, I this, I that.... I absolutely refused to read anything off of that list because 75% of it wasn't even remotely true for me. I realized rather quickly that that particular coda group was bonkers, and stopped going altogether... but yeah, just wanted to share that.
As the cliche goes, be true to yourself. And be as honest as you can be. I think this is a great place to explore questions like you have as you'll get a lot more objectivity than in other places. And you'll hear all 3 sides of the coin.
Laast note, just saw the other day that someone here referres to themselves as recoveringed.
LOL. I like that.