Originally Posted by
7897 
Hi everyone
This is my first post here but I have been visiting this forum for a while now to read now and then.
I know I won't get any answers or my situation won't change from posting here. It's all my own fault and problem but I just need to vent my anxiety.
I've been drinking for years but stupidly thought it wasn't a big problem as I was still living a 'normal' day to day life, holding down a job, and thinking I've been hiding it well from everyone (who am I kidding).
However I feel like its all come to ahead now, I think I have over done it and my employer knows. I am dreading going back to work. Terrified I'm going to get the sack. All weekend I have been so anxious, I'm trying not to think about what will happen because I know I can't change it now. I just know that I'm going to get spoken to tomorrow. I actually feel scared to death, my heart is racing, I get hot flushes, feel tingling all over everytime I think about it. Feel physically sick and angry at myself that I've done this to myself. How am I going to face everyone, so ashamed and embarrassed and I will lose everything and everyone once it gets out. I also couldn't sleep a wink last night. This is it now, I'm done! I never want to feel like this again.
Sorry for the long post, just needed to air this, but also welcoming any words from someone who has been in a similar situation.
Thanks for reading.
Hi 7897,
Were you drunk on the job? Or were you out socially and got drunk?
Big difference --on your own time you can drink yourself dead (not saying you should) , but that is your personal life and not something your employer is allowed to monitor, as long as it is not affecting your work.
Now you may have gotten blitzed a party where your boss was, but so what? Why would you lose your job, friends, and co-workers? I am sure when not working everyone of them have their own issues, it is nobody's business.
The only reason this is an issue (and a good thing) is because you have come to face the fact you are an alcoholic, and now you can do something about it before it spirals out of control and you show up at work drunk. You will be quiting while you are ahead of hitting bottom, get out now and save yourself the heartache many of us have not been as lucky to have escaped.
Good Luck to you,
TrixMixer