Paranoid? me? Why, what have people been saying?
Nothing beats paranoia like honesty I'm afraid. If you're always hiding from stuff then there is always going to be something that you'll be worried other people will find out. You could do worse than commit today to never drinking again. It will give you a sense of accomplishment and determination which will make anything you have to face much easier. It's a bit like the 'yeah but' approach. 'You're an alcoholic' 'Yeah but I've quit now'... As long as you mean it nothing can touch you.
I don't know if that's good advice or not, all I know is that when I started tackling my problem full on I started to feel a lot better.
Have a look at the 'crash course' on AVRT (google it) and see if that helps any. If the idea of quitting forever is too much there is always the one day at a time approach. Even if you never go to an AA meeting you will get lots from that I'm sure. It's available free online too x