I think we all had strange fears when we were little trying to understand a strange world. I cried for days one Christmas because I KNEW Santa was going to get trapped in the chimney and die because we had a chair in front of the fireplace. As we get older we learn to differenciate between real and imagined dangers. Just my view of my personal journey and choices here. When I would drink to combat fears I could no longer tell the difference. Drunk I feared nothing, sober I feared everything. When I got sober I trusted nobody, thought they were all lying and nothing mattered. Then I trusted and loved everybody and learned some alchoholics and non-alchoholics lie - who would have thought? I am just now learning to trust, but only to the point I can handle any hurt that may come from it. 'Hope for the best but plan for the worst.' If you are into music listen to 'The battle of someone' by Blues Traveler. Listen to the lyrics even if you don't care for the song. It nails me on the head, and may put some of your feelings into perspective.