Thank you so much to all of you that have taken the time to post.
Well today has been good, I have made up my mind that I have stopped for good. I have spoken to my partner about it and he is relieved and was more worried than he let on. I know it is going to be tough but I am going to take all of your suggestions and make it work.
The other few times I have stopped for 6 month stints were following very big nights and terrible hangovers but because this time I am making the decision with my head and heart and not because I just think I should I am hoping it will last forever.
To be honest I am just totally fed up and sick of thinking about alcohol and about stopping and about everything else that goes along with it. I want my freedom back and my head clear! Will keep you posted
Thanks again for being so welcoming