I get afraid of him not only hurting me but hurting himself if he is out of control.
This evening we were at the grocery store. Sometimes I pay for all of our groceries together, sometimes we pay separately. He was going to get a bottle of wine to put in our collective basket for me to pay for, but I walked over to the wine section with him and said quietly that I wouldn't be paying for any alcohol.
He called me an ******* and bought it himself. On the the way home he said I was being judgmental, and I asked what do you mean exactly. He said that I don't need to understand what he means, I just need to hear him. So I said I hear you saying you think I'm judgmental. Okay.
He's been angry, sulky, and hiding away in his bedroom (we haven't shared a bedroom in months).