It was a huge leap for me to post on this board; the only other time I ever did it was on an parents of children with ADHD board, and my post was ignored. I think my courage was born from the desperation that I felt when I woke up yesterday. I felt like it was at the very least an opportunity to share what's really happening in my life. I have to say I am humbled by everyone's responses. Your support, advice and encouragement are amazing. I had to go to one AA meeting as part of my DUI punishment. It was an open big book meeting. I was the youngest person there by far, and the folks who spoke had a lot of blame and self pity.
Anyway, today is a day that I would usually pop open a bottle of wine. I checked the message board this morning at work, read the responses, and decided that I would NOT drink today. I haven't. I imagine tomorrow will be harder. I can't tell you the last time I've gone 3 days without a drink. I read the link above (which is amazing, by the way!) and I'm making a plan to do something: I've decided that on my way home from work I'm going to check a book out of the library and make a cup of black cherry tea during the time I'd normally settle in for a drink.
My husband's drinking frequency is similar to mine - except unexpected and inappropriate things DON'T happen when he drinks. I am prepared to hang out in a different part of the house if he decides to drink tomorrow. Like everyone's story, mine has lots of layers.
That's my day two. Thank you.