Gforce23

Hey there--

congrats on being pregnant! Yeah, it's not always a picnic. For me, I was petrified until the second term, and ambivalent. Pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting are often not at all like hallmark cards--in fact quite opposite, usually. Any feeling your having--fear, ambivalence, whatever, it's normal. Everyone's experience is unique to them. Personally, when I first heard my baby's heartbeat--I cried an endless tears of FEAR, not joy. However, the joy did come later, and I LOVE my kid.

To address the problem of meds: if you want really want reality, here it is: (if don't I suggest not reading further!!!)

Labor was one of the most painful experiences I have ever been through. Now, to be sure--everyone's experience is different. My mother and nearly everyone else, told me how easy their labor was, and not to worry (no one wants to scare soon to be mothers). I wish in hindsight, that someone had prepared me for the possibility that it might not go as peachy as they all said. (My boy was posterier, and I didn't really dilate for two days. I turned down meds--not because I was in recovery, but for philosophical reasons.)

So in terms of meds, if this situation occurs (and I truly hope it doesn't) I would talk to the in advance (!) or midwife, and tell them your concerns. No ones coming to take away the baby! In any case you could talk about an Epidural in the case that you might need it. It's an anesthetic that makes the lower half of your body completely numb.

I would say the doctor or midwife absolutely should be informed of any concern you have, and they can come with a birth plan in the event you should need some type of intervention be it pain or otherwise.

I REAAAAAALLLLYYYY don't think your going to be judged or "registered" somewhere as "recovering addict"--after, your "recovering!" not active. The police state has not yet become that overt.

More "REALITY:"

Also---I had a difficult labor, I did not bond with my kid right away because I had a c-cection and I was really out of it. The proverbial "shaft of light" did not come down on my baby boy until days later.

That all being said, motherhood has been the hardest thing I've ever done, but also the most rewarding, and it has changed my life. I LOVE my child, and in even in my darkest hours as a parent I feel truly blessed to have my son and to be able to experience being a mother. The love is like nothing else I have ever felt.

Whatever you experience over the next 9 months, and even in the first few months of child's life---or at any point in your parenting journey--it's valid. Don't compare it to other mothers experiences of "pure joy" or whatever! I'm telling you, it's the beginning of "Mother Guilt."

Hang in there--things usually lighten up in the second trimester.