I found this great quote in the website Tiny Buddha:
"When you’re holding onto a relationship, it’s usually more about attachment than love. Love wants for the other person’s happiness. Fear wants to hold onto whatever appears to make you happy so you don’t have to feel the alternative.
You might not recognize these types of fearful thoughts because they become habitual. Some examples include: I’ll never feel loved again. I’ll always feel lonely. I am completely powerless. Replace those thoughts with: All pain passes eventually. It will be easier if I help them pass by being mindful. I can’t always control what happens to me, but I can control how I respond to it."
I realized the other day that I am making myself utterly depressed by holding on to my past relationship. Every time it pops into my head I am trying to tell myself "Time to Move On."
Whatever he is doing or saying now, or whoever he is with, it's none of my business. I need to stop caring about someone who clearly does not care about me anymore. I need to let go of all the toxic shame, guilt and verbal abuse he dumped on me. And most of all I just need to let go of the pain and the regrets for hanging in there so long.
I am not giving all my power away to the people that hurt me.
I think yesterday was the first day I did not cry in months -- I must be making progress!