To Not Be Codependent: What Secrets Do I Tell?
My AH got angry with me because I wouldn't have sex with him while he was drunk and told him the truth when he asked me why I wouldn't. He punched the wall twice and woke up with a gigantic hand, perhaps broken.
We are in the same workplace. He claimed he fell off his bike. I supported that story. He told the same lie to his family and I supported him there too. I drove us around and to work exclusively for 10 days (he usually drives more) because his hand was unusable. I think I've given him the impression that almost breaking his hand in drunken anger is a cozy secret between us. Something "stupid" he did one night while kind of ticked off but no big deal.
In actuality, I found it pretty disturbing and became somewhat afraid that I could be the next punching bag. I said that it was not okay at the beginning, but I think the secrets and lack of consequences say otherwise.
How can I do this better? Do I inform him that I won't be lying in similar situations again? Do I lie at work? We both work for a family member who might react unpredictably and negatively to the truth.
His family has no idea about his alcoholism and has religious objections to drinking at all.