Thanks Nomis. Your experience sounds really similar. Working for an investment bank, I am amazed that I am allowed to be in the room, and that I get glowing reviews from managers and colleagues... riding on hubris, I've been SOOOOO lucky that I am not dead or in prison, but sometimes I almost wish I WERE in prison, to save myself and others from pain.
I will definitely try to incorporate this site into my treatment plan. Trying to "get real" with my wife and convince her that I am a full blown addict to anything I can get my hands on, but mainly alcohol.
To give you an example of my uphill battle, having compartmentalized my life to such an extreme and having lied so eloquently for SO long, my wife doesn't seem to understand when I tell her I never want to drink alcohol again; she thinks I am overreacting. This should be a testament to how compelling my deception - my double-life - has been.