I went to an AA speaker meeting years ago and the man talked about feeling that he had to please people all of the time. He needed approval. I am not advocating AA. That is a personal choice but when I read how you want to make people happy all the time I remembered that man. I am like that too.
I can be sitting in my Drs office being told I have COPD and I can find a way to make a joke. It's like if I see someone laughing it takes away the real negativity of a situation. Cleo the good news is that you can be an upbeat positive person. That will help you deal with this. It will be a memory someday. You want to live sober and you will get what you want. Don't give up.