No sweetie, you are not an idiot you are an alcoholic and that is what alcoholics
do, until they find a 'new' way to live.
One thing, we cannot seem to do it by ourselves and do need support of others,
and if those others are alcoholics in recovery so much the better.
Now I know you can find some face to face alcoholics in recovery in AA meetings
in the UK. Even if AA is not your 'cup of tea' it won't hurt to go for the fellowship
and to meet other 'sober' folks. IF AA may be your 'cup of tea' all the better.
Also check out our Secular Forums here for other forms of recovery that help us
to get into a different 'mindset' about ourselves and the alcohol and/or drugs.
So, dry your eyes, read about the site some more, and pick yourself up and keep
going with the NOT drinking.
We are here for you, you didn't do anything that many of us have also done be-
fore finally starting to get this 'sobriety thing' working in our lives.
Lots of love and plenty of hugs,