no contact = no new pain. Stay strong, you are not a mess! Breakups are difficult.
"He started talking under his breath, I wasn't sure if he was talking to me...I asked if he was talking to me, he said yes, but never mind." I could be wrong, but this sounds like a passive aggressive, control tactic.
Going through a divorce, I eventually stopped communicating by telephone w/ AH - emails only. He was so difficult! Wouldn't answer direct questions, lied, and always got these sly little insults in on me. The same sh*t he would do when we were together and told me I was too sensitive. I knew our r/s was over, I had done everything I could. I spent months telling him I loved him, let's work things out, we can do this - and he didn't treat me with any dignity, respect, maturity, or empathy. so I cut him off. When i did see him in November, he reminded me several times why I stopped talking to him!