Thanks ZiggyB - I have done some things different, mostly physical in nature. Going to Alanon 3x per week. But I am still controlling and codependent. At the end of the day I am not respecting her request for "distance and space." I am acting very clingy, actually more like grasping- She has stated the reason for her request is that "the distance is necessary for her to heal, and overcome some of her resentments for my behaviors, and get a grasp on her feelings."
Unfortunately because of her nature of not always being truthful, and knowing that she is still speaking with 3rd party every day, in my mind I interpret this as "I need space from you so I can get closer to him." Sick thinking. Perhaps she is telling the truth. Perhaps not. Hence "crazed."
According to her, he is not the issue. Our relationship is the issue, as near the end we were not happy together (which I agree .... but I did not think she would take drastic action and move out without any discussion)
I do believe she is trying to actively work her program. I think she was slipping over the holidays, than after Jan 1 made some decisions. So I do believe she is doing some things differently.