Accepting this illness is really the only answer . I will die if I go back out there, I will end up in an institution in a week if I start drinking . I have been in 14 in the last 10 yrs.
I will get behind the wheel of my car and drive if I want more alcohol . I will get my 4th DUI.
I will cheat on my husband and I will ignore my son .
I will not be available for my parents. I will be sitting in my car chugging one beer after the other , then driving to the gas station every 30 min to go to the bathroom .
After 12 beers I will go call the drug dealer . I will get a cash advance on my credit cards . I will drink even more . I will get on the phone and call old boyfriends .
I will be puking in the middle of the night .
I will wake up with a massive headache and my hubby will have left .
My folks will not speak to me. My son will cut me out of his life .
Then I will do it all over again because I won't be able to deal with the consequences of last night .
UUGGHH O my , I better accept I have this illness cuz If I don't you all will be writing me in jail . That's if I live .
I actually have no idea what will happen if I drink and that scares the living crud out of me.
I need help, I will always need help. I am glad you are here to help. thanks
