Thanks, Teresa. Haven't heard of the victim triangle .... will look it up. Its possible I underestimate him- I know its the fear that drives me.
Its too much to go into here, but my I really don't feel like I enable AS until it comes time to actually make him homeless. (and we've even done that a few times) I haven't given him a dime since he was probably 16-17 years old except for birthday and Christmas gifts. (Once he started smoking, drinking, etc. ... my attitude has been if you've got money for that, you aren't getting any money from me.) He's always had a job and gone part time to community college. He is jobless now, but its more because he just got back from rehab and only found a seasonal one when he got back.
I know my son suffers from depression and maybe has other mental issues. If he were schizophrenic would everyone still feel it the right thing to put him out and make him homeless? Or, should we try to be firm and hold him accountable but still try and get him the support and help he needs?