Thank you Gardenmama. Very wise advice. I do need to remind myself to be gentle with me as well...striving for progress not perfection right?! You'd think I'd be a pro after the chaos of the last 5 years but I have to say, even though I knew I couldn't save him, or do his work, I hadn't started working on my own recovery until 4 months ago. I had read a couple of books but no concrete steps or anything. I can already feel a difference in how I sleep, how I feel inside my skin but would be lying if I didn't admit to days of complete and utter fear for what the future holds. I'll get there...one day at a time. Thanks again...sending a hug your way too.