I had an empty hole inside of me for a long time that I tried to fill from the outside, including a toxic marriage and relationships.
I felt so broken inside I feared I would never recover.
With Alanon, many resources (including books, a sponsor, SR) and a lot of work, I have learned to fill that hole within me. Happiness is an inside job.
I know the emptiness and pain that you feel, and am sending lots of Kansas hugs your way!