I will always love my husband. He was a wonderful husband for many years and a devoted father as well. He has many talents -some of which I realize I am envious of. BUt the person is became when he continued drinking was not the same. Now We have had almost NC for 6 months. So I don't know who he is right now. For me it helped when I realized that I did not have to stop loving him and caring about him but that he was not a good partner for me at this time. I deserved and wanted more for my marriage and my life. It's difficult to let go. It is difficult once you decide what you don't want, to visualize what you do want. This is where you seek out things that enhance your talents, and interests. This is what starts to bring joy back into your life. You are doing well to block his texts and hopefully you will continue to care for yourself. Surround yourself with hopeful people who care about you. For me that is my Al Anon group but it is also my friends at work and people at the gym or even old childhood friends I never seemed to have time for before but who I now stay in touch with through phone or emails.
Wishing you continued strength.