I feel the same way...dont beat yourself up. Just go day by day. Allow yourself to feel and then heal. It is so healthy you can recognize the problems and not just stay!
My AH left when he relapsed after almost a year of sobriety and is with an enabling new gf who he cheated on me with...he literally said she will never leave him no matter what he does! I could be her, settling for a man who isnt emotionally capable to be the partner and father for my children I need.
We think our self esteem is low, and it may be...but at least we are doing something about it now! Be proud of yourself. Use this forum, it has saved me from contacting him or going on Facebook to torture myself...We deserve happiness.