Hello Werhappy,
I found SR in December of 2008 after several horrible months in my life. I was desperate for information and answers and went searching on the internet one night. I joined SR.
At the time, I had been dating my boyfriend for maybe a year or a little longer, and the reason I went looking for answers was his son—an out of control alcoholic and crack addict. I loved my boyfriend very much, but his son was making both of our lives miserable.
I learned so much by reading thread after thread on SR. These were tough times for my boyfriend and I, and I had to decide for myself whether or not he could learn to stop enabling and set up some firm boundaries so that we could finally have peace—or if I would eventually have to end the relationship because of his son. I talked to my boyfriend about how I felt, but did not ask him to choose between us (son or me). He agreed that we needed to do something for us, for our peace and our future.
My husband and I have now been married for 3 years, and we have grown so much. We have attended Al-Anon together, and we have both learned quite a bit from SR as well (although he is not a member here). The young man who is now my stepson is currently living in a sober living home for men in another state and is looking for work.
I am so grateful that no one told me that I did not belong here because I was not in a relationship with an alcoholic. Anyone is welcome here if their life has been affected in some way by an alcoholic whether it is a parent, a child, a husband or wife, a boyfriend or girlfriend, or even an extended relationship like the one that drove me here.
I hope that you and your boyfriend can have a calm and candid conversation in the very near future! Much luck!! HG