Originally Posted by
Werhappy1 
Thank you Marie60. Some of my thoughts as well. Just confused. I also have an ex that is an alcoholic that harasses me to no end but I told him about our relationship because I can't love my life worrying about him anymore, stoping my own life.
You want to hear the flip of the coin, my XH divorced me because of my drinking, and I'm not blaming him, but being married to him is when my drinking took off. When I got done with treatment, he wanted to get back together and that went on for three years.
I resented our marriage that I HAD NO DESIRE to be in a relationship until about two years ago, I date a few guys, and then met my now fiance', and I kept him a secret for as long as I could until we decided to move in together, I HAD to tell the XH, and you know what??? He totally flipped out, you'd thought I was the one that dumped him.
Anyway, I'm just sharing, because I stayed sober for almost five years after we divorced, and I believe one of those reasons is because I am no longer with him. I did recently relapse, but I am back and moving forward, and you know what? Not just for me because I don't want to go down that dark road again, but also because what I have now is a very caring man, who loves and supports me. He didn't even give me an ultimatum, I just realized that it was going to take a toll, and I really don't want to lose him either, among all other things I have gained in my life.
Good luck, I think you got tons of good advice here, I wish you the best, and above all, take care of yourself, okay? :ghug3