so hard to let go of love
this is my first time here. i have read some posts from this site and decided to join. i have been dating an alcoholic for two years now and i have finally decided to shut the door...for good....
i dont know how to stay strong at times...i know why i left and i dont regret doing so, but it hurts more than anything i have ever been through. i need to know the pain will end...i read the posts...i know the words, but it doesnt ease my mind...i just wish i could erase his memory from my mind so i dont have to feel that love anymore. he doesnt deserve my thoughts....he has called me every name in the book, told me how stupid and pathetic i am, has let me down more times than i can count yet i still love him. i hate myself for this. my life is good...i have a great teaching job, good friends and family but i am completely empty inside and i dont have the motivation to go out and enjoy the world right now. i just keep thinking there might still be some hope that he will quit drinking and realize how good our lives could be together...then i remember the reality of the situation and cry my eyes out. this is still fresh and i actually just blocked his texting a week ago. its been easier now that i cant see any of his BS words and empty promises...i guess i just have really low self esteem since i miss him. i just need to know that this pain WILL go away....