When i got divorced over 15 years ago, I too was a basket case, raw emotion, crying, second guessing myself, on and on.......
My very wise (much older) law professor brother simply said. "Kid, divorce is a legal matter, this is business, what you have to do is cut the emotion, and deal with the facts, the court is only interested in facts"
Well, i was so pissed off at his insensitivity, that only seemed to make matters worse, well I had a few months before we had a court date, and I had time to reflect on what he was saying, and as awful as it was, he was correct. This was strictly a business transaction, regardless of all the raw emotion, this was really going to happen. There was no turning back. (for me) I needed to stand tall and face my today, in doing so, it allowed me a chance of a healthy tomorrow.
I am so sorry for your pain, and I understand how you are feeling. Just want you to know that I care, and as awful as today is, just know a new growth is truly on the horizon. hang in there, friend.