He werhappy, Welcome!
I'm sorry you are both going through this. You've gotten some great insight above!
The sad truth is that we can't control our fellow enablers any more than we can control the alcoholics or addicts in our lives. So, we can't tell you what you should tell him what to do...if that makes any sense.
He is responsible for his own decisions and actions, and your power is that you can make up your own mind whether or not any of this is acceptable to you. If it were me, I would certainly tell him how I felt. If he is not willing to acknowledge you as his girlfriend and that is not acceptable to you, then I suppose you have some decisions you need to think about.
Many hugs, HG