I have been dealing with this for just a little over a year - I had no idea what was going on and it was a horrendous year. Lots and lots of drama and trauma. The entire family ripped apart. Recovery and lots of relapses . . .and now he is on "vacation."
It's hard to conceive that I will ever be "ok" with this . . .but for now, I have to turn my attention elsewhere. It's a bad habit to indulge in the negativity of it all. It is a dead end and does no good . . .
I am turning my attention to Pinterest at the moment because it always cheers me up.
I literally have to change my channel from resentment, anger, worry, etc. to distract myself with beauty and hope.
This is one of the reasons I don't like Alanon meetings. I don't want to live in the problem - I don't want to be defined by the problem - I want to be free of it as much as I can.
I love this forum because it is a place for me to process, but in some ways it should be a "bottom line" for me because it is not healthy for me to post my negativity.
So I am off to inspire myself with beautiful images.
Thank you to all who have listened. I do apologize for spreading negativity. I think the world has quite enough of it.