I believe that life is made up of choices.
I also personally believe that alcoholism is not a disease the way most people perceive it to be - in other words, it is not inevitable. If you look at it logically and it is an "allergy," then the first time you had an allergic reaction you would note that and not repeat what caused it.
We also know that alcoholics have other behavioral problems - the lies and deceit, the nastiness, etc. Those traits are not present in a bottle of booze - they are in the person. If you notice that booze makes you a really terrible person, sane people would want to modify their behavior. Alcoholics don't - unless they CHOOSE recovery - then they do - so it is a CHOICE. That is the maddening part about it.
I take it personally because: 1) It is someone I love - that is personal 2) It is someone I spent 18 years raising 3) It is my grandson - a person in my family - PERSONAL - not a stranger 4) His sobriety or active disease affects me and my family members on a PERSONAL level, etc.
If someone makes "mistakes" and rectifies them - that is one issue . . .
I do see this is a dead end, and hopefully I will stop soon - but these are my true feelings that he will never know (and probably does not care about).