Jazzman

You just described my youngest when he was that age. I just had this same conversation with a co-worker yesterday. When it comes to teenagers I applied a lot of what I learned from being married to an active addict.

There are plenty of medical studies that show the frontal lobe is not fully developed until the early 20s. Cause & effect, long term planning.. stuff like that. Big article in Time a few years ago the explained why teenagers are the way they are... didn't explain how to DEAL with a undeveloped frontal lobe unfortunately.

Remember they are't doing it to YOU, they are just doing IT, being teenagers. It's no reflection on your parenting skills and don't take it personally. When I stopped reacting in a predictable manner it through him for a loop. One time after he disrespected me I told him calmly that I don't deserve to be treated like that or talked to like that. I don't treat you like that and if you look around you'll notice, anyone who has treated me like that gets removed from my life.

I simply let go and detached, let him suffer the consequences of his own actions. It was a rough couple years but he came through it just fine.

Or at least this was my experience.