that's important to remember, what kthopkt is saying, there's a lot there that never will make sense.
it's only natural to question ourselves and look for explanations for why we were treated like that. but i'm just trying to accept that what happened never will make sense because it wasn't a normal situation or behaviour to begin with.
you are not to blame for any of this, all you've done was your best, and he doesn't deserve that. be good to yourself xox