When I was a young adult, my recollection was that people were getting more wasted than me and falling behind in their studies, whereas I was partying right alongside them and maintaining my good grades.
They didn't have video cell phones back then, so if I were to see how I actually looked, I may have looked just as dazed and confused as them.
I did excel for decades to come, but I continued to smoke pot and drink beer every day, and now I'm looking at going into rehab - for beer! Damn! (I gave up the pot not problem).
Well, I'm not just looking into rehab, I'm forestalling it. I've spent God knows how many hours calling places and taking notes. I think I've narrowed it down to one place, but there are a lot of hoops to jump through to make it affordable.
I need to (and am continuing to) sift through a mountain of unattended-to paperwork in order to make sure I pay all my regular bills and any potential bills that might come while I've voluntarily agreed to lock myself up. Damn again!
This is not to say that I've been out making trouble in the past couple of years. My job of 22 years went out of business and most recently I was working a temporary job, and then got a really nasty cold that laid me up. But overall, in recent months - aside from the occasional temp job - I've been having a good time and minding my own business, just not attending to business, so to speak.
I certainly did enough of re-schooling after the company I worked for went out of business, and then - afterwards - enough applying for jobs to blind an oxe.
I guess my addictive voice is prone to saying - like the McDonald's commercial for those who are old enough to remember it... "you deserve a break today, so get up and get a way (to McDonald's)."
My therapist said, "just be careful of that addictive voice that says you're OK now."
He learned the term "addictive voice" from me. I'm the one who told him about it.
I'm afraid that after getting out of rehab, the addictive voice will eventually say what it repeatedly does and gradually work me into an unproductive state once again. And all the while I'll be enjoying it, as unattended-to paperwork accumulates on my floor. Damn!
Letter after letter to be read. And the irony is that when I was working I was only getting $16/mo. in food stamps. Then when I told them I got a job and reported my earnings, I got a letter saying, "due to your change in circumstances we have increased your food stamps to..." and it was much, much, much more. I just can't figure these people out. 6 letters about food stamps in one month with all kinds of technical jargon to read through, and they seem to contradict themselves. I think they're computer generated.
I just can't believe that someone's actually sitting there running this stuff over in his/her mind, even to fill in the blanks of a form letter.