Bless your heart! I am so sorry you are going thru all of this and I hope will hold onto your faith. Try to take care of yourself and remove yourself from as much stress as you can! We are always here to listen!
You ask why/how can you AH do this? I can only say that I have found that an Active A is so SELF ABSORBED they do not see futher than their own needs/desires! They do not handle ANY bumb in the road big or small! As sad as that is....I have found this to be the truth! Besides, you hold your head high and do what you need to and take care of yourself! Worry about yourself and your own needs! He would likely just drag you down and be something to take care of! Hang in there and keep coming back! We are here to listen!