Hello Zoso...long time! I thought about you in the last couple of days because there was a cartoon on facebook with a Zoso t-shirt...and then of course Jimmy's birthday today! Listened to Ocean on the way to work.
I joined a little over a year ago myself. It was November when I had my ex pack his things. He suffered from bipolar as well as crack addiction. Now...with just under a year (MY last "relapse" was a date with him on Valentines Day when he got out of bed with me to go use...) away from him I have gained so much clarity. So much becomes revealed...so cliche, but so true. My heart holds compassion and prays for his recovery...but no longer with the desperate yearning that he be in recovery so that we can be together. Trust is gone. Attraction is gone. With time away from the woven strands of illusion, those whispery gossamer threads of promise and hope that held my heart bound to the possibility, what is left is reality.
The reality is pretty tragic. Of course for every person who suffers with addiction there is hope. But it has to be THEIR hope, I really believe that. As a person in love with an addict the enabling can be so deeply insidious that it is almost invisible. Or is it denial?
It seems by your post that you might still feel resentment for her sick behavior. I am sorry that happened to you. I hope that with more time it fades away...hurt human beings hurt people...
XO ZOSO Happy Anniversary.