Welcome beth! I'm so glad you found us. You are probably looking for understanding and support - that's what we can offer. I was a lost soul until I found this place.
The best thing about being here is you're no longer alone. You'll see many stories similar to yours. No one will be judgmental - we all understand how it is. I had no one in my life to talk to about it. Everyone was a social drinker. They never got why I couldn't just have one or two.
I'm sorry for your health issues - I hope everything will be alright. It's very sad about your animals. I know the feeling of wanting to numb the pain, but in the end it doesn't really work. A few hours of feeling a little better - then we have to sober up and face the emotions anyway. I am much better off being clear headed, conscious, and aware of what's going on in my life. Staying in a fog makes everything impossible to deal with.
Glad you have made the decision to quit. Congratulations!
You can do it.