eeeerrr,hang in there.I am glad you found this place.Never give up.And as far as suicide,well its a permanant solution to a temporary problem.And also a very selfish solution.Not to mention you have no idea for sure what happens after you do that.Imagine the pain you are in right now multiplied by 100, for eternity.Keep coming here and posting.You will meet some really good people here and get a lot of support too.There is hope,I promise.Coming here is a very good start.I also highly recommend trying Alcoholics Anonymous.Hang in there.We are here for you.