Indeed, quite a mess. My mother is the alcoholic in my life, I am no contact with her, this is the third time in my adult life. She is and has always been difficult, it is all about her, what she wants, she never considers how her actions effect others, and, really doesn't care. She is 87, still drinking daily (big time), refuses to sell
her house, although if she has to go into assisted living, all her money is tied up in the house, and as with other areas in the US, the housing market is sluggish at best.
You are entitled to your own life, your own peace and happiness, I would support your husbands recommendation, you cannot help or change her, it is a matter of letting go or getting dragged down with her.
With my mother, it was her or me, I chose me. She has lived her life just as she pleased,
it is time for me to live mine.
Sending support your way, I am sorry for your situation.