Hi everyone,
This morning I woke with a curious thought, one which I haven't had in the 7 months i've been sober; "who am I?". This wasn't the nerve-wracking, self-seeking kind of question i'd been familiar with in the past. I was always very hell-bent on validation and gratification from external sources.
What became crystal clear is that my fundamental values have solidified and I really don't want to deviate from them; sobriety, health, family, friends, fellowship, service. TODAY I can live in accordance with these values and not just talk about them. My life is richer than ever!
I might speak less than I used to, but the words are generally said with or for a purpose. This might be misconstrued as boring (
), but i'm not content to indulge in being passive-aggressive, gossip, give my opinion on absolutely everything to everyone, save anyone, nor indulge in sarcasm or unnecessary wit to cut anyone down and make myself feel better. It's more than "not being content", it's just that the urge to behave in these ways has died off by and large.
The compulsion to drink left at least 3 months ago, I can't pinpoint exactly when.
Is this a result of putting in the footwork and letting go of the outcome when i've let my HP in? I believe so, yes. I have a sneaking suspicion that some of the Promises that are frequently read out at the conclusion of AA meetings are coming true
