Originally Posted by
toxickizzes69 
I also wanted to add a couple of things to this post:
When he is drinking with his friends at the bar, he has a tendency to pick fights. Just this past August he added another disorderly conduct to his record. He has never been physically violent towards me, however mentally he has brought me down. When he has been drinking, he will yell and call me hurtful things when I refuse to sleep with him. When I say I am leaving him, he will tell me that I will never find anyone as good as him and he could have any girl he wanted. When I have plans with my family he will bluntly ignore me for days as punishment for "ditching" him when I had these plans way ahead of time and he and I never had plans.
Somehow, some way, everything turns into my fault when we argue. And then there are the threats of him commiting suicide if I leave him.
Hi ToxicK, This is only my opinion:
Your story is heartbreaking! he is addicted and in love with alcohol and your are addicted and in love with him.
I think the choice has to be yours to walk away, for the sake of you baby if not for you. This is an abusive relationship and he will take you down to his level before he will let you go. He wants to destroy your self worth so you will think he is the only man that will put up with you--or love (his definition) you,
.
Girlfriend RUN_RUN_RUN_ as fast as you can away from this situation. Apparently he is a serial abuser having 3 children by three different wives.
Your just his 4th, when you leave him he will find a 5th.
Sorry to be this direct but you are the only one that can be responsible for saving your self-esteem and more importantly your childs life. He is toxic and you need to get him out of your system just like he needs to get alcohol out of his.
Please for your sake talk to a counselor, go to Al Anon meetings, find support from your family. Just do NOT go back to Him.
We are here to listen and many have been where you are now. We listen we don't judge, K?
Hope you take the safe way out!
TrixMixer