Hi aphid - welcome
There's some great advice here - like others have said, only you can decide if you're an alcoholic or not.
It certainly does seem like alcohol is causing you a lot of problems tho.
I think giving it up, and posting regularly here is a great start.
It's ok to be a little ambivalent at the start - I think most of us are...noone wants to be different.
Quitting drinking actually gave me my life back tho - and helped me rediscover a me I'd forgotten existed.
who knows? you might find the same?
why not give it a go?
D