The good news is that you are human: we make mistakes. The bad news is that those around us often perceive the problem long before we do.
No answers here, just that I bet you are young and have not yet understood the "progression" of alcoholism. I started "not drinking" in 1974, and have proceeded to circumscribe my life since then with long periods of sobriety but still believing in alcohol to "help". It has gotten so much worse, and I have wasted 40? years of my life wrangling with this.
What a waste. Look around you and see how few people regard alcohol as necessary. Not many really.
No one can decide for you, but that you are asking the question says a lot.
Subscribed to your thread; I believe in you.