Our fears keep us stuck. From what you write I see a lot of fear, and a lot of stuck. The only real way to proceed is to face your fears and take a step forward. You seem like a perfect candidate to do some volunteer work where your talents will be appreciated by others and you'll gain confidence in yourself. I don't know what you're going to jail for but perhaps doing volunteer work involving yourself in some way with what you did to get jail time might be a good direction to look. Self-confidence might be an essential ingredient in your recovery.